Thursday, March 10, 2005

coming clean, for once

i admit it.

i have linked to The Bangalore Bosun on more than one occasion

never again

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Rosy Cruickshank

James Mason, Jackie Mason and Nick Mason.

What do they have in common?

They all belong to a secret society.

It's ancient, mysterious and rumoured to have a strong influence on world affairs

Got it?

That's right.

They are all card-carrying members of the Friends of Bosun

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

slip, slop, slap of the tongue

'You were tossing and turning all night'

-yeah, i think i had some weird dreams. Sorry if i kept you up.

'You kept putting my hand over your cock, which was fine for a while but every time i wanted to move you'd grab my wrist and put it right back'

-sorry. i don't know what i was thinking. i don't really remember my dream or why i was doing that'

'And you kept calling me "Bosun".' '


'Who is she, Dave? Who is she?'

An Upcoming Electron

It's true. Money doesn't grow on trees

Unless you're a squirrel.

Find out the latest Euro - Acorn - Sterling exchange rates and how to do a little bit of arbourtrage, here, here and here

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Banal Sex

There's a lot of inventions going on over at a certain blog of note - Grist to the mill, i say. Here's mine....

A lifesize, meat-stuffed replica of my own dear arse.

Because when all's said and done, we'd all like to know what it's like to fuck ourselves*

Her's a guy who knows and has written extensively on the subject

*it would also provide excellent storage for the lifesize, meat-stuffed replica of my cock for the rare times when it's not 'on duty'

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

ladybird? that's a tautology, innit

when i was a lad my parents told me not to pick up earwigs because they would eventually make their nests in my ear

just to be safe, i avoided cuntworms too.

for a list of other insex on the list

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

satan claws has come to town

Bitten by a kitten, smitten
digit fidget - feckin' eejit
snug hug, face embrace
scratch or snatch? scratch or snatch?

my new philosophy

Tuesday, December 21, 2004


there's poetry and there's prose one comes flowing from out of my bum the other comes streaming from my nose then there's the in-between the unpunctuated rhyme of phrases and words in a skilled practioners hands golden in mine im afraid they're lumpy turds now get ye to bangalore because there is a man whom words were made for and never again will you darken my door except to regret that you never managed to teach me to rhyme properly or end sentenc