Overheard at Evensong

I never fucked that Zombie. I swear it guy, I never fucked her. The closest I gots was a bit of oral and that weren't finished neither. She was up for it, oh yeah, she was up for it alright. But there was no fucking way what with her still-alive husband and his bruvvers fucking chasing me round the island with a macrame or whatever. Sorry guv, that's my story and i'm sticking to it. Yeah, milk and two, please, milk and two.

The Bangalore Bosun