spank your lucky ones

Today's stars: Capricorn

It's been a perilous week for you. There is danger everywhere and that's set to continue for the next 50 years. Avoid walking on the edges of cliffs, always drive in first gear, never take a plane anywhere with a vowel in the title and above all, stay away from death machines. Also, call your uncle Jack. He's sick and will die, I guarantee it.

Don't bother with the Bangalore Bosun neither - he'll fuck you then he'll kill you