honi soit qui mal you ponce

The cynics would have you believe that there's no such thing as genuine blue blood but i can tell you, as Lord-at-Arms' Cushion-Bearer for the Royal Tampon that for 7 moon-commanded days of every calendar month for the last 150 years I have witnessed fist-hand every shade of the azurest hue bespatter and truly sop the soft fabric of the Auld Ermine pessar-sponge. For one and one half of a century I have performed this solemn and vital duty without renumeration, recognition or legal status and not once, NOT ONCE, have i ever taken the cushion-borne blood-soaked tasty-looking Ermine back to the Cuntery to suck on it.

and i've got the pictures of me not doing it hosted here as proof